Mental Wellness Challenge – 2021, January 08

Mental Wellness Challenge – 2021, January 08

Well…

It’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve done my blog.  Christmas has come and gone, and we are into 2021… another year – another trip around the sun for this little ball we all live on…

My “holiday” season was really quiet.  We (my wife and I) stayed home… didn’t get out much… COVID was certainly a big reason for hunkering down – but sincerely – gloomy mood and a really, really persistent cranky batch of headaches were contributors too.  I don’t know for a fact that my mood disorders and my headaches are connected… but my guess would be that somehow – some way – they are…  I’ve been scrapping with some migraine banger/throbber/rebar/thunderclappers for a while… as I usually do in early Winter – so – I am not sure there’s anything that’s different this time… I do know that its really difficult for me to get motivated to do much of anything when a “pounder” is visiting… Nearly impossible to read and my overall focus and concentration are pooched too… So many things are in my soup – its tough for me to really separate out bits and pieces…

Anyway – enough about that… As one specialist I have seen told me – sometimes the best thing to do is to try to just ignore it… and while its almost impossible to ignore the sensation of what I imagine a chunk of rebar being pushed back and forth behind my right eye might feel like – I try… that’s a mindfulness exercise on its own… Identify the pain, put a color or temperature to it, acknowledge it and then let it go… it may very well be right back again… then I do my best to do that all over again… and sincerely – the exercise does help…

Ever forward…

My last challenge was about communicating more clearly…

  1. When your smile is behind a mask, try to communicate your smile with your eyes.
  2. (I’m going to borrow this one from Covey.) Seek first to understand and then to be understood.
  3. (I’m going to borrow this one from the 4 Agreements.) Don’t make assumptions, ask questions.

 

I put some effort forward into being aware of my communication.  I tried to listen more – speak less.  I didn’t have a whole lot of opportunity to share communications with loads of folk because I wasn’t around lots of people.  I’ve been working at waiting for the other half of a conversation to pose their question or thought before I start responding… (Ya – this is a big one for me… I – too often – budge in or roar forward with a response before the person I am speaking to has even finished asking their question or stating their position or interest.)

The communication piece  – being interested and engaged, paying attention, parroting and paraphrasing, understanding the ask, asking questions – These are all pieces of my work, my experience  that I continue to work on.

I hope you were able to communicate your smile with your eyes, listen – HEAR, ask and then answer and that you might, like me – continue to improve those very important tools.


January seems to be a time of year when lots of folks put forward “resolutions”.  Folks resolve to lose weight, exercise more, save more money, change this, change that, achieve this or achieve that.  Ya – I’m not one of those folks… resolutions just don’t work for me… I don’t know if it’s the lack of impulse control I have, or my wandering attention or just what – but “New Year Resolutions” just don’t stick for me.

I have plenty of will power.  There are loads of things that I simply don’t ever do any longer… I have lots of things in my life that I just made up my mind – that “That’s NEVER going to happen again.” and it doesn’t… Some might say “incredibly stubborn”.

Now – I do have issues with loads and loads of things that I wish I could just say – “Nope, never doing that again…” and it never happens again…

My weight is one of those sorts of things… I’ve had a tough time with my weight since I was 6 or 7 years old.  I’ve been ‘Fat Bot’ since then for sure… I’ve had some successes in paring down my weight and I will be sincere – I know I feel better when I am not packing around a bunch of extra pounds… It really isn’t as simple as “Well, just eat less, exercise more.”  There’s more to my “FAT” issue than that… I joke around that I can look at a hamburger and gain two pounds… but its almost like that… My siblings are both super thin – and always have been… One of those things I suppose… I may never understand the why…

I do know that my eating habits are influenced by my mood – I’m an eater… Depending on how I feel I get cravings for sweet, salty, savory… and yup  –  I eat… and what I eat sticks with me…

“Going on a diet” because the second hand on a clock went past 12 doesn’t work for me.  In fact – tying my behavior to that clock tick just makes me resent myself – makes me feel poorly about myself.  So – I don’t do it.  My weight issue has been an ongoing conundrum for me.

Intellectually – I know I need to lose a bunch of weight.  Intellectually, I know I feel better when I exercise more.  I also know the pattern that exists that reflects – the less ‘secure’ I feel in my life, in my experience, the more I weigh, the more I weigh, the less I tend to exercise…

This is certainly a piece of my journey that I need to spend more energy getting a handle on.  Sincerely, this physical wellness piece truly is as important as my mental wellness.

I know the answer – the solution.  I know I need to be more active in “WHY” – the purpose piece.

OH MAN – if I could only… If I could only… just choose to not be depressed, just choose to not get anxious, just choose to not experience the effects of ADHD… if I could just “quit” those things like I’ve quit other things in my life – I would… IN A SECOND… My experience is – it doesn’t work like that… there’s more to this all than just making a decision that “I’m not going to do that any longer.”  I sincerely wish it was just that cut and dry.

So – knowing the answer – the solution.  Knowing there’s no silver bullet.  Well, that brings me back around to my wellness model… Persistence/Commitment, Supports, Connections, Purpose, Awareness/Vigilance, Action, Understanding/Acceptance, and Values.

I know that I need to be more active, to take a more direct and responsible role in navigating my life.  The carcass that hauls me around isn’t in the best shape – although blob is a shape – it’s not the best shape.. – and I need to be more mindful of how I am maintaining it.

The longest of journeys begin with a single step… (I feel a bit defeated right now… I’ve been here, I’ve done the whole intermittent fasting and cleanses, felt the empty belly hunger, and all that – and after having made some pretty significant progress in losing weight – have ended almost back where I started… AAARRRGGHHH!!!) and even though I’ve found myself back in a place that looks very similar to the places I’ve been before – I know the direction I have to travel in.. and the work I have to do.

I am seeing again (not the first time I recognized this) that I need to move myself back into a physically healthier flow.  I need to spend some thinking time evaluating how my current “reality” fits with my values and what needs to change to be more aligned with my values.  Then I need to lovingly move my experience in that direction.  Some corrections may be more urgent than others – but I sincerely haven’t thought about the pieces of this part of my well being as much as I should have been.

I often see that it is really easy for me to lose sight of the trees – even though I am standing in the middle of the forest.

I recognize or maybe realize is a better term –  that the physical form of my model can represent my physical existence in the world and that my model needs to apply to the physicality of my experience as well.  I know I have described that the space within the model represents “my authentic self” and now I see/take/assign that the model’s form represents my physical presence.  I’ll have to ponder this piece more too…

Apparently – I have lots and lots of work to do… lots of steps along my way…


This week, I’d like to challenge you to:

  1. Laugh out loud! Read something humorous, watch a funny video or listen to a funny story… something – but do something to laugh out loud.
  2. Take your shoes and socks off and feel the floor with your feet. I’d say to do this outside in the grass if it wasn’t snow covered outside.  Feel your connection to the floor.  Really think about what you feel with your toes.
  3. Tell 3 people in your life, your experience that they are important pieces of it!

 

 

That’s it – I challenge you!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *