Mental Wellness Challenge – 2021, April 02

Mental Wellness Challenge2021, April 02

March went through my fingers so fast… I know I was there for it – but really – it seems like all a blur…

… how’s that old TV soap intro go…. “Like sands through an hourglass… these are the days of our lives…”

Last week I challenged you to:

  1. Smile under your mask, smile while you are on the phone… smile.
  2. Do something each day “ON PURPOSE”. It can be something you do every day anyway… but do it with intention.  Think about all the reasons why you are doing it.
  3. Give someone you love a big hug. No words… just hug them.  Feel LOVE.

 

I really worked on the smiling piece!… I spent the week with students (online delivery only) and made a point of trying to smile as often as I could… Not smiling like and idiot… but putting on a genuine smile.  It’s like I can see a smile in someone’s voice even if I am not able to see their face… and I want to spread that same thing…

 

I did well with being on purpose – other than Thursday of this week… Thursday I was – well – to be honest, I was down hard.  My guts, head and body were just not playing this “BUT ITS MY DAY OFF AND I WANT TO PLAY” game… so – I suppose – even with that – I was “ON PURPOSE” in trying to rest up, get through, or however it is I can describe what being sick in bed not feeling well, running between the bed and the restroom… (I detect a hint of self-pity there… I’ll allow it… LOL)

For the rest of the week – I tried to be “ON PURPOSE”.  Easier with some things, much more difficult with others…  Found myself checking my snacking more than once for sure…

Weighing intention against values is a really powerful tool for me.

 

HUGS – OH YES… collected as many of them as I could for sure… Right now – I can only hug my Karen… and if I am really lucky – maybe one of my kids… but that’s about it… DAMN COVID!!!  Love my hugs.


My brain has been pinging super hard this week…  Not certain why my inattention is rising up, but it is…  Just like my sharing from last week, I have to expend more energy to try to stay on topic, on task, on the rails…

I spent some time thinking and writing about this and I understand that there certainly is a correlation between being physically fatigued and not feeling great and the pin-ball like thought patterns racing round through my head…

And so it goes for good rest and sleep… motivation suffers, especially being motivated to do chores that I would rather not do… so then I procrastinate… round and round… somewhere, this spiraling decline has to be stopped and reckoned…

How the heck am I supposed to find energy I don’t feel like I have??? It’s there, I just have to dig it out from under the piles of “CRAP” that I’ve heaped up inside…

My wife and I usually leave a little note for one another each morning.  For the last few weeks I’ve been reading my wife’s words and almost every day, she comments – “looks like another beauty day out there today”.   Yup, I read her words but I don’t see the same picture that she is seeing… Some of the not seeing is the piles of “CRAP” I have inside that are keeping me from seeing the sunny sky…

I have to do some spring cleaning… good old spring cleaning… I know there’s piles of  “CRAP” in there that I’m pretty sure I have raked up, thatched out, bagged up and tossed out before… many times before… but some of it is back again…  I’ve tried lots and lots of different ways of getting rid of this baggage… from writing it down and burning it, to writing it on a rock and tossing the rock, – oh so many ways of trying to deal with the stuff…  I’ve also tried ignoring the stuff… and that doesn’t end very well either…

Here I am, wandering through the hoarder brain that is mine… yup, there I go, that’s what I have… is a hoarder brain… I keep all kinds of stuff… largely of little or no consequential value to the rest of my experience but its there… These piles of “CRAP” use up big bits of energy that I know would be so much better used in other places in my life.  I know – there’s boxes of energy buried under some stuffed boxes and there’s no doubt vital energy mixed in here and there too…

So, I need to do some big time organizing of my “stuff”.  I have a pretty good idea how I need to proceed – same as I have had to do numerous times before… I also know that some of the reason that I don’t like the sorting is that – in the doing of the sorting, I can end up walking down paths that I don’t really want to re-visit… I need to change the way I am sorting I guess.  I need to do a better job of sorting what’s in the totes… I don’t even know if I can mark the outsides of the totes… of if the markings just fall off… buy I know it takes lots of energy to go through them to find out what’s in them… and then stack them away again… (OR – in a number of cases – dispose of the tote… only to find later that I have it back again.).

I know I am a bit all over the place as I write this – I am sincerely doing what I can to stay in the thread… So, if I’ve lost you along the way somewhere, I apologize.

I am reminded of a concept that goes something like “That which you resist, persists.”  And my current battle with my brain fog/ADHD/not as sharp as I like to be… looks a bit like this… The harder I try to deal with my inattention, the harder it is to manage my inattention… and then I get frustrated, too frustrated and I just stop doing everything…

Its very important to me, to be as “ON” as I can be.  I can’t let Otto, the Autopilot have too much control of my experience… I know I likely sound like a broken record – but intention and purpose are really the two tools that I have to try to stay ‘inside the lines’ that regular society expects….

That takes effort… sometimes more effort that I actually have available… I know that the energy is inside somewhere – I must mine myself for it though… and you guessed it… that takes energy too.

I AM A WORK IN PROGRESS.


This week my challenge is to:

  1. Take some time to “Appreciate the beauty day.” See the trees in the forest.
  2. At some point, each day:
    1. Stand with your feet flat on the ground.
    2. Feel the connection of your feet, to the earth, up through your ankles, calves, thighs, waist, belly, chest and lungs, then up to your shoulders and head.
    3. Slowly take 5 big, deep belly breaths. Breath right down to your navel.  In through your nose, out through your mouth.
    4. After your five big breaths, tell yourself : “I am special, I am worthy of love, I am supposed to be right where I am, I am loved.”
  3. Write a couple of little notes of support for yourself and place them in your folded socks… mix them up… so that – one morning – maybe when you need it – you will happen upon some words of encouragement.

That’s it – I challenge you!

 

Please be kind, we are all getting tired and frustrated with the Pandemic and the measures to fight it, patience is so important, and so is tolerance.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *